Some Silly Cactus Jokes

Here’s a few “great” cactus jokes for your amusement…PLEASE let us know if you have any better ones – we admit that most of these are pretty terrible!


Cactus Jokes

I know there’s something wrong with my cactus… I just can’t quite put my finger on it.

What’s the difference between a cactus and the Houses of Parliament? Parliament has all the pricks on the inside.

What’s the difference between the White House and a cactus? Cacti have their pricks on the outside.

What’s the difference between a cactus and a politician? Cacti have spines!

I dropped my cactus the other day… Even worse – I caught it!

Scientists recently managed to genetically modify a Venus Fly Trap to have the skin of a cactus. They say its bark is worse than its bite…

Did you hear about the cactus that went to the party? He spiked the drinks!

What do you call a dinosaur who sat on a cactus? A mega-lo-sore-arse.

Now, I’m not an expert on the Cactus family…but I know a prick when I see one.

Why did the cactus cross the road? It got stuck to the chicken.

What do you call it when a cactus falls over? A cactus-trophy.

What did the boy cactus say to the girl cactus? We make a prickly pair.

Why do coyotes howl in the night? They can only see the cacti in the day.

What did one cactus say to the other?Stick with me and I’ll take you places!“.

What did one cactus say to the handsome cactus?You’re looking sharp!“.

What does a cactus wear to a business meeting? A cac-tie.

What did the happy cactus say to the grumpy cactus?Don’t be so prickly!“.

If you bump into someone, it’s polite to say, “Excuse me” – but what do you say if you bump into a cactus? Ouch!

What did the porcupine say to the cactus?Hey there, good looking“.

Why is it so hard to come up with a cactus joke? Because it’s a such a thorny problem!